A Muse’s Garden

I found this online today and was super thrilled!

 In case it’s not apparent, I DO!

Also, thanks to the lovely support of friends and siblings, I may not have to sell my graphics myself. I’ll share them between, Patty, Inny, HeatherD and more than likely Jo as well

So..if you have a huge want for my graphics, check their sites!

I am extremely pissed and it’s aimed at whoever the hell has taken it upon themselves to try and break what little self esteem I already have.

 So I’ll make this loud and clear-

I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!

I don’t care if you like my graphics or what you think of them-obviously they’re okay, I’ve sold a few sets already. Also, My tubes are NEVER stolen. I have never stolen a graphic, at least intentionally.

I also will NOT take down my bears or tubes because you don’t like them. You can BITE me.

Oh, and since I’m posting this-

1. My tubes are MINE. I colored them with permission.

2. MY SIBLINGS don’t feel bad for me. I know that. I love all them.

3. My RELATIONSHIP with my BOYFRIEND has nothing to do with my business. He’s not a part of my business, not a manager, but alot of the inspiration for tags. That’s IT. No money goes to him.

Yeah. it’s Christmas and youre supposed to be grateful for what you have. And for 99% of everything I am. I just want one thing more than ever.

Mark. Here.

 But it’s not feesible for either of us, and really, it’d take alot of planning. So Instead, I’m stuck like he is, wishing for yet another year to go buy quickly. We have a better chance next year.

 I love you honey. I really do. *smooches*

Merry Christmas to all my friends.

Right now, Dragon pixels is here on WordPress.com

Click here to get there! I may make it a full fledged site, but for now, it has a free montly tag and of course, tubes! only one set currently, but really, it’s 120 poses!

NOTE: LANGUAGE BELOW NOT SUITABLE TO BE READ BY KIDS!

It will never cease to amaze me that the guy who was fired from my mothers job will continue to bitch about how he’s unable to have unemployment. The reason he was denied unemployment was the fact he’d been descrimitive about who he gave rooms to, and he was insubordnent to my mother, his manager.

 He posts in a blog (Which I cannot link to so it can’t be linked here.) and says that my mother is a con artist who covers up everything and who has had it out for him for a long time.

 It’s amazing since my mom bent over backwards for him alot, helped him when his girlfriend (Now ex) was hurt. Also amazing is the fact that he keeps mentioning to ANYONE who listens that it was a ’sucky job.’

Okay, I don’t think he’ll ever find this, but I have to get this OUT of my system.

1. My mother is a nice lady and a damn fair manager. She has NOTHING to do with your stupid fucking unemployment so leave her ALONE.

2. If you hadn’t been such a selective, racist stupid prick, you’d still have your day job. Which would save the rest of the world from reading your slanderish BS.

3. Stop bitching and find a fucking real job. If the hotel industry sucks SO much, go elsewhere. The hospitality business would be grateful, as would the general public.

4. About my writing compared to yours-I have fans. You don’t. Obviously I do something write. What’s wrong with you?

My mom came home and on the warpath. I didn’t do the cat box so I’m automatically a lazy kid.

Then because she MADE an appointment for my brother and I alot earlier than either of us was ready for and didn’t go because neither of us felt good, I’m the bad kid. I realize she can’t technically yell at Justin, he’s not hers.

But DAMNIT. Oh and I have no job, so since i’m not putting into the pot, I’m extremely lazy. She’d rather yell at me than talk TO me. *Sighs*

Doeesn’t count that I put in 2 more applications for work, at bookstores. Nope. That doesn’t count.

I don’t hate my mom, but I wish to god, she’d think. She’s made me cry twice this week and I’m pretty good at not crying much. Only my mom can make me cry quickly.

Yeah, the title doesn’t make much sense, but that’s alright.  For anyone clueless-yes, my boyfriend lives in another country. No, I haven’t seen him in AGES. Yes, i trust him. No, I’ve not cheated on him and I highly doubt he’s cheated on me, he’s too shy to talk to ANYONE.

I’ve been dating the SAME GUY for a year. A FREAKING YEAR. And I love him to death. yes, I said Love. You don’t think I can feel that? I’m not emotionless and I’m damn sure not an ice queen (contrary to a few beliefs.)

I’ve never met his family. I’ve talked with them (Even if his brother and I can’t stand the sound of each other’s voices, and I hate how he treats Mark.)

As is customary-if Mark says his mom is looking over his shoulder, I say hi. Rather than say Hi back like normal, she decided to say “First loves make you cry.” First off, I’m not his first love. Second, I would rather be shot in the KNEES then make that boy cry. Third, thanks. Makes me feel real great.

To add to the good feeling, last week at applebee trivia, a girl I was proud to call my ‘little sister’ in high school, came to the table I was sitting at to say hello. I like seeing her and chatting with her is never boring. She asked me if I was seeing anyone, and when I said Mark, she asked, “Why are you still dating him? You never see him and I bet he doesn’t care.”

Yeah great. thanks. except, I know better. And because I care. because I love him. because I have for 6 damn years that I’ve known him.

So here and now, I’ll make this clear: if you don’t approve  of my relationship, fine. but keep it to yourself. I don’t tell you how to live your life, or make your choices. So kindly, don’t tell me how to live mine. if I mess up, or this ends, then it was supposed to.

A note-Ciara is mine. Fang, Raisa, Kyle and Derex are Marks. I use them with permission.

Kyle stared at his wife, watching his sleeping angel now. Bending to kiss her forehead, he whispered, “sleep well, a chroi.” (My darling)

Ciara stared out in the bright sunlight, in the garden where her handsome husband kept watch over her and their home. Her nightmares kept her from sleeping most nights, even with Kyle next to her everynight. So he stayed outside, from dawn till she got up at eight.Now she slid out of bed, barefoot and in a soft blue nightgown. Creeping out to him, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. He was unmoving and cold, even in the sunlight. When she moved to step back, his arms grabbed her, but it was a voice from her past that spoke with her lovers form. “I have you now.”

She sat up quickly in bed, screaming “Kyle!”

He came running from somewhere down the hall, gathering her in his arms, Spectra lay beside them.

“Ciunas a stor.” (Quiet my love) he soothed, having learned the phrase from her. Ciara trembled in his arms, until she made a choice.

She looked up and her eyes were full of fire. Slowly she disengaged from his hold, saying darkly.

“That’s it! I can’t take anymore of this shit. I will not let you fight for me anymore, this time, I’m doing it my way.”

Kyle wasn’t sure what she meant, but opening a circle, she gathered all of her magic to her, and holding her hands open, she spoke.

“All I am and have,
All those I hold dear,
I protect with my love, light, magic and life.
You cannot become a reality to me any longer,
Nor will you haunt who is mine, now and forever.
This I swear,
as if you try,
it will be your death,
So I will,
So mote it be!”

The magic pulsed then exploded, waves spreading to follow her commands, her anger fading as she concluded a hellish chapter of her past.

She turned to see Kyle watching her, looking oddly. In his hands was Spectra, flashing silver, which he soon took as a good sign, now relaxing himself.

“Are you done?” he asked, his scottish lilt fitting into his words.

Ciara nodded slowly, lifting her hands to cup his face, “Yes, except with you. I’ll never be done.”

(Language they are speaking, for those unaware -I would be- is Gaelic.)

THIS will be a full story, but for now, think of this as a teaser.

Ciara went running into Sunset Sound Recording, looking for booth 10A.She wasn’t here to sing, but she needed to speak to her friends, the three who made up “The Forsaken.”She counted doors aloud, “8B, 9A..9B..10A!”Coming to the door, she slid into the booth. Derex, Raisa and Fang were recording, so she sat to listen.

Derex looked up and spotting Ciara where nobody had been moments before, motioned for her to stop the recording. Once the music stopped playing in the headset, he said with a soft smile.

“Hey Ciara, what’s going on?”

She didn’t push the button to answer back for a moment but then, “Can I talk to you guys in here?”

Fang put his drumsticks on the drumkit, Raisa and Derex’s bass and guitar went to their respective stands, the three coming to stand in front of Ciara, who didn’t leave the swivel chair.

It was Fang who spoke first, and asked what he knew to be a common question when he saw that look on either of the Dae women.

“Ciara, what’s happened?”

Ciara looked at her hands, then up to her longtime friends. Since Derex was closest, and could see her trembling, his hand reached for hers, which gave her enough of a boost of confidence to talk.

“I saw Tom, and you know if he’s coming to me, rather than Lila, it’s never good. There’s an assasin out for me and mom.”

Raisa, normally content to stay out of messes, said rather darkly, “They won’t get you Ciara. They’ve failed up till now, and they will continue to.”

Fang nodded in agreement, then it clicked into his mind why Ciara was there. Fearing for her children, Kas had made a pact with the extended family for their safety.

The Forsaken would watch out for Ciara, Adeline and her mother were John’s defense. Kas would go be with her sister in law and Trinity.

Fang, ever the leader, and always more level headed than Derex and Raisa, said softly, as he knelt to Ciara’s level.

“Ciara, we’re your friends. We won’t let anything happen to you. Alright?”

She nodded and then hugged him, which he returned, gently rubbing her back.

“Calm down.” He said, still in soft tones. “It’s alright. “

She nodded, wiping under her eyes then she said, “Now what?”

Derex, who had found it hard to be quiet, spoke, “We’ll finish recording, then go home. You can help us!”

Ciara laughed a bit, “I only know how to stop the recording. Not start it up again.”

“I’ll teach you.” He said, smiling.

“Okay..”

Fang looked to Raisa, nodding towards the door and mouthing, “food?”

Raisa nodded and both left, going to pick up some lunch for them all now that they had a break.

Derex sat in the swivel chair next to her own, before bravely scooping Ciara to his lap.

“Alright. Now I may be the horndog of the group, but I like to think you know me better. Relax. I know you were trying not to cry, your mom does the same thing.”

Ciara lay her head on his shoulder, listening to him, biting her lip when he said he knew better.

“I just..I cried enough. I don’t want to anymore.”

“Then don’t. We’ll keep you safe. I promise Ci.”

She wanted to believe them, but part of her knew he couldn’t make that promise.

“He said he’d kill whoever protected me and mom.” Even though she tried not to, her eyes held warm, fresh tears. “I don’t want to be the death of you three. You guys mean as much to me as my family does.”

Derex eyes flashed darkly, though he had no magic, someone was scaring his friend, which he wouldn’t stand by idly and allow. Not by any means.

However, rather than look dark, he kissed her temple, merely meaning comfort by it. “It won’t happen. You won’t be our death. Old age will.”
————–

As you can see, I love to write. Which duh, is why it’s one of my passions. In the first story, Ciara is an adult, and been through two marriages. The man she just used her magic on, is her first husband. He’s become a threat, since he was a demon before they were married.

In the second story, Ciara is a young lady, but not with Kyle. Yeah, I know, I write funny. But the charactors I write with, are usually for rp, so they’ve been with QUITE a few people.

The Forsaken is a group made by Mark, who gave them each jobs and obviously a history.

Fang-More than likely the oldest of the three, drummer, level headed and at one point in his life, a soldier of a small special ops team. They were the last resort team.

Raisa-Russian and naturally beautiful, this girl can cause some problems if she wanted, but is more laid back and dating my bartender, Damon.

Derex-His name used to be Nathan (But with Nathan and Natane in the same roleplay it got confusing). He’s a very outgoing person, and while he flirts (Hence the horndog comment) he’s actually a decent guy.

 Kyle-Scottish and proud, he’s a great ally and even better warrior. But he’s known for his heart. If he can keep just one person from being hurt, he does it. Peace is his best weapon, though Spectra (his sword, a bit of a charactor of it’s own) is a great weapon if he has to fight.

——————-

Now that I’ve explained the writing, I have news. Nothing terrible, just news.

My birthday is coming up Nov. 7th, I’ll be 21. Yay!!

Still no cord for my laptop. And I found out, I need the Gardosil shot (The HPV prevention)

So now..I’m sad.

I know quite a few of you know I hate the color pink, but my wordpress is pink for a very good reason. Pink is the color for breast cancer awareness. My friends aunt had breast cancer and died. I didn’t want her to be forgotten, and thanks to Wysperia for reminding me of the month, I changed my layout to fit.

Also..

Go hereand pick up a banner or graphic for your site, if you don’t want to turn it pink.

Or if you are in a giving mood (And don’t wish to make your own team for this.) Click here and make a $10 dollar donation or how ever many you can give.  Their money, goes to the Susan G. Komen foundation to find a cure.

Once my paypal comes through, you can bet I’m donating!

Weddings are meant to be a fun time, to celebrate a couples love, and enjoy time with family. Yet it seems everytime I go out with my family, my middle brother’s wife, has to be a complete bitch. (My journal, I can say what I wish.)

Today, we spent most of the day in Carlinville helping set UP the wedding. When we went to do the cake, SHE complained about not doing anything else. Here’s the conversation actually.

Heather(Her name and mine.): “I’m not doing anything else. I’m done.”

Me: “It was only a cake. It wasn’t too bad.”

Heather: “shut up Heather, nobody was talking to you.”

Among being CONSTANTLY told to grow up(She’s a freaking year older. Just one!), she proceeds to call me fat..(Which while I’m over my ‘normal’ weight for my height, I look better at this weight then I would the one suggested. And I feel much better about myself.), she berates my other sister in law Amber (Who, I LOVE.) and treats my nephew like crap.

I tried to avoid her all night, because yes, we don’t get along, and I wasn’t going to lay her out on the ground during Savannah’s wedding. I love my cousin too much to do that to her.

Then, she got mad because her husband wanted to stay and spend time with his two brothers. (The youngest I live with, along with my mom and his dad. The oldest is the dad of my nephew, and his wife is Amber.) During that time, yes he drank, but no more than 3 beers, in total about 5. That’s all he had.

She LEFT. Took the car and LEFT. If we hadn’t given him a ride home, he’d have been stranded in Carlinville (about an hour from our house.)

When we dropped him off, she started yelling at him, and told us. “Thank you for bringing his sorry ass home.”

Before someone asks why he married her-in all honesty, I have no clue. He has to see something we don’t.

Oh..and one more thing. My boyfriend, Mark, lives in New Zealand. She knows this, and took it upon herself, during EVERY slow song at the reception, “Don’t you wish Mark was here?”

I haven’t talked to him too much the past week, because i’ve spent alot of time offline. I miss him. She knew it.

She also won, because I cried.

One word describes her: Bitch.